I feel like I have said these words all of my adult life.
If I just lose 5-10lbs, I will be so happy with my body. Or, if I could just tone this up a little, if I could just do 1500 more squats......In just, If I and When I. Well, how about right now??
I am making a super conscious effort to start loving the body I am living in. To start giving thanks to the body that does so much for me, with so little thanks and recognition in return.
I was incredibly scared to do a bikini photoshoot. Throwing on beautiful clothes and smiling for the camera is one thing. It's fun and it helps you ladies see the clothes in a different way than the stock photos from a magazine. A way you can really wear them. But, putting on a bikini for the whole internet to judge my post-baby, no time to workout anymore body. Ummm well, that sounded terrifying. "If I had time to lose 10lbs then it would be fine, I would rock that swimsuit!" --Insert huge eye roll here
I tried on the suit and stared at myself for a few minutes. Was I a bikini model? Ummm...No! was I horrific? Absolutely not! Did I have the kind of body many women would wish for? Maybe? However, it wasn't my best body, that was what was bothering me. But this needs to stop, because is it ever your best body? The thing that really escalated this whole blog post for me was when I recently stumbled upon a picture of myself from about 6 months ago. I have gained roughly 10-13lbs since I have stopped breastfeeding Gemma. My diet and eating habits really have not changed. I suppose breastfeeding was really just burning all those excess calories every day. Anyways, I remember the day I took that photo. I was wearing my over washed, super comfy maternity shorts and they hung off my bony hips. It didn't occur to me that it was because I was small, it was simply that I stretched these shorts during pregnancy. In my head, this was the reasoning. I remember thinking, if I could just drop and few more pounds and tone up a little I would be so happy with my body.
Lets fast forward to an additional 10lbs and I am sitting here looking back at that body and thinking.."Whaaaaaaaat?? Where on earth did I think I was going to find any more weight to lose?? I looked amazing.( I mean, not to toot my own horn but there was nothing to complain about!) Unfortunately, this is not the first time I have looked back at pictures and longed for the body in the photo. The super annoying thing is, I have never been truly happy with my body. Or rather, myself. Sure, the day I ran a marathon, I was pretty pleased and content with the way my body looked. But my boobs were so tiny, my hair could have also been just a little longer and you know...maybe a little blonder. Thats the thing, there is always something you feel like you can improve on. Someone is always going to be a little thinner, a little taller and a little more confident. It's time to start appreciating and loving what you have. I am making a promise to myself right here and now to stop!!!
This body made and grew two human beings from scratch! It has been around for 32 years. Heck yes, it has some imperfections, but it's also pretty amazing. I, we, as women have to stop wishing for something else! No, I won't stop working towards a better, stronger, and healthier me. However, I will not make the current me feel badly about myself. I am better today than I was last week, and next month I plan to be a little better than that. But I am going to enjoy this ride and these seasons of life. I am going to be proud of my body and love it. I am going to teach my daughters to appreciate the body they have to take care of it, and....to be easy on it. To be easy on themselves. To love themselves.
Everyday is a gift and my healthy working body is a gift as well. I need to start treating it as such, instead of constantly wishing it, wishing I, were better.
So ladies, put on that bathing suit, or that dress. Does it make you feel good, will you have more fun wearing it than sitting on the sidelines and watching? Then wear it! Have fun! Dance, swim and enjoy the body you have at this very moment. Be kinder to yourself! Please, stop comparing yourself to the woman beside you, because odds are, she is too busy comparing herself too.
Live more, laugh more and love more.
Life is short, lets enjoy this crazy ride.